The two of them.. #$@&^#@&#^ made me worried for nothing.. waste my time and brain cells.. So i decided not to care about them anymore. Haha

Recently my life revolves round work, shopping, org and driving!

Driving.
Eyyer, i wasted $11 for nothing coz i mix up the time.. so i was late for 40 minutes and i still pay for that 40 minutes. Hmph.

Learnt 3 pt turn and i hate it. And i have forgotten the steps.

Learnt vertical parking- quite fun! woohoo.. at least now i can really steal my mum's car, drive and put it back such that she didnt know i drove. *hehehe

Anyway... 2 more months to my PT. shiok!


Btw, went to the australia Uni fair. ermm, applied for 4 U and i have alrdy got a placing in one of them, doing Business, specialisation in Tourism, 4 years, graduate with a Bachelor and a diploma...

Told Laoshi, told mummy......

management meeting again yest. so Bzbzbzbz... but I like it. New system coming up!

I'm sick... I'm tired.. I really hope i can just disppear from this world...

I cant judge what is the correct thing to do.

I dont know if I am hurting anyone..

I cant think what i should do to make things right...

I'm sorry...

HOPE.

Received letter for interview for BaSc( edu). =)

THe interview went quite smoothly. (=

Thank you to those who are there to give me advice and support.

Sometimes its really fated.. u cant explain why...

sometimes its so coincidental.. u cant explain why either...

I have been living life to the fullest and definitely enjoying~

Yup, all thankz to Cheryl n Jt...

The long abandoned piano has been touched again. =X
Yup, havent touch my piano for years, lucky i still rmbed my favourite pieces like Fur Elise and Sailor's hornpipe and one kiddy piece ( haha)- Backyard's Friends. (HAHAHA, typing this makes me laugh at myself, coz this piece is super KIDDY. cant stand but i like it~)

hehe, and recently i have been practising this new piece- Santa Lucia and it will be my mother's day present for my mummy. =)

And after that i will practise Symphony in G major ( surprise symphony), followed by Come Back to Sorrento then Music of the Night then..... haha, hope i'll be able to be disciplined to practise...

Yup, also one shocking news- Mind made up, my position and rank in org will be reinstated soon. So, i guess i'll be super busy.

Felt so happy about myself!
1) Learning a new skill- Driving.
2) picking up what i ban tu er fei- Piano
3) Contributing to the community

I see a rainbow! =)

Even though i've thought it all over and finally put this heavy stone down.. there are a few questions i really need to ponder over. hmm, nvm abt tht for now.. perharps i will seek help from philosophical books later.

Well well, I feel that there is a strange affinity b/n me and * someone* coz i wonder why everytime i'm =( somehow he will send his regards to me. even though he is just another acquaintance.. shrugs..

oH well Im in such an excellent mood today! (that i volunteer to help my sister..) haha

Its another lazy day actually, i woke up at 1130 and i have to meet my aunt at 12.15pm.. oppz.

Bought comics! 9 books at a go~ so shiok. Guess this is another retail therapy. =P [ cheryl cheryl! i bought NANA!]

went lunch with my aunt, tok abt work, my U application, and abt something which happened recently.. and so glad i tok to her! I finally realise how i look and feel abt this matter and the actions.. =)

Went shopping at Art Friend. Did i tell you this is actually a place which i love? i even dreamt of owning a even better one. yup. Bought something to make for my beloved. hope she'll like it. =)

got something for Blushing Boutique also, hope its not too childish.. cant wait!

I start doing ***** immediately when i went home and b ecause of this i have to take train to catch bus 51 which i missed to be on time for my driving lesson.

aiyah, dont noe why its recorded that im suppose to do 3 point turn but again i did routine test route driving today. eyyer, dont noe drive how many route, go back to driving centre soooo many times.. hmph.. feel so xian alrdy..

and its a small small world! I met HUILIN! omg, miss her~ acc me take bus 51 and in the end ( with lots of changes), i waited with her for her friend at lavender mrt and got a free ride home. so cool right? her fren(maybe bf~) drove to pick her up for dinner and movie! ( not girl k, its a guy, nice cool car too~) so envious~

went home and carry on part2 of ****** hehe, soooo excited! will need part 3 and then tadah! the touch up~ =)

Perharps this will be a wrong move again. Nevertheless, I'm still going to blog despite many disagreements to it... I am someone who wants to get my point across, I want my thoughts to be heard...

Rest assured I'm cool down enough to blog this and dont worry, i dont expect any actions to be taken...


" It is not that I do not want to send my blessings to you, but think, have you ever told me that both of you have become an item? So how am i suppose to give you my blessings? And this is what i am upset over...

It's just the same as the previous times.. Who's the one who told me about this fantastic guy " Kenneth"? It is such an acquaintance, on the very day i knew her, that an inner secret of someone was revealed. And i was shocked, really.. It was then I realised why NYJC was a better choice compared to TJC.

Similarly, have I been told of that relationship you had such that i could bless you and that hunk ( whoever he is, till date i dont even know..)?

Nobody would want a book with such an ending. I dont, at least. I have other options and i've taken. I did talk to you. I've asked you to tell me whatever you have to tell, or rather, what i would like to know, that day in Bugis Mos Burger, after the visit to arab st. That was when i've alrdy heard stories. But what did you tell me? Nothing but a flush in the face after the question was shot.

I've tried to ask you face to face, thats the reason why I've always tease you.. I've have tried to get you tell me in sms... but still - nothing.. and tadah, my speculation was true. I found out from friendster...

Its really hurting to hear from others but not you. Its really hurting to find out from secondary source instead of words from you... and that is why i " over reacted "( according to you.).

And its tiring to always be the one initiating, poking and pushing... hoping you will tell... I'm tired. Tired it has always been like that, time after time...

Yes, I might be selfish and negligent to have blogged the previous entry.. such that "whoever it is" have access to it.. but i thought this might be better that confronting you... which i have tried the many previous times...

Do you know that i really regret forcing you to the tennis session? Because if i never did, and if you didnt reluctantly go.. perharps none of these will happen...

Or perharps... I've should have nipped in the bud years ago to minimise this great loss- 10 years of friendship..

Yes, over- reacting isnt good at all- for this is the ending i got...

But. is " not reacting at all" or " that much i've reacted" better? I doubt so, it would be a superficial kind of friendship you will be getting... and because i hate that, i'll never do that... no matter how much you say you will enjoy it.

Lastly, never once did i not bless you with sincerity.. its because i have no chance to..

... but since you've blogged that entry.. largely it concludes that my speculations are right..

Congratulations to you. I am happy for you. Really.
Bless the both of you with fruitful returns... "

I planned initially to blog down all that i thought i wanted to.. but in order to protect some ppl.. i decided i wont. if not, i try as much to blog it so that some ppl wouldnt know.. But, from today onwards, from this entry onwards... i will not be so silly to bottle up myself...

I have had enough. I have kept this to myself for weeks...

If i am going to loose a friend like this, i'm not going to care anymore. For, i thought i have already loose her. Its the 6th time. Not merely 1 or 2. I am stupid enough to give her so many chances. And i am nice enough to pursuade her to tell me this very last time... yet........

Recalling what Roy told me, i dont find myself stupid. BUT very STUPID, VERY NAIVE. I suppose its a one sided feelings, one sided friendship all along.

ANd sorry, i wouldnt be able to treat what as happened as " nothing has happened". Afterall, this is not the 1st time, afterall, i cannot judge by myself if she is treating me with sincerity, with trust or the very least, treating me as a friend.

I am too sensitive? I am too demanding? No, I expect very little. Just to treat me as a friend whom you will talk to, whom you will share. Perhaps like what JT and ROy said, you choose the different group of friends to tell. But, i dont suppose this is too much. I merely ask you to be truthful and share when i have found out something fishy is going on...

How would you feel if i were to hide something delibrately from you and somehow you found out from other friends? And its not ending here, when you asked me, i still deny... HOW WOULD YOU FEEL? DO YOU WANT TO TRY?

One more thing, please reflect on yourself. How do you judge me and my christian friends when i told you about them? What was your reaction when i told you i went to YFC for GP tuition? And especially when i told you i like "him" who is a christian? And now, please, you are dating one. How hypocrite.

I feel really lost. Please dont come and ask me if i am refering to you. You know better than than anyone else.. Please dont come crying to me and say you are sad you are worried.. Whatever.. I have alrdy been hurt by you. And sorry, i really cant forgive u as easily as the previous 5 times.... And i feel really unfair when i do share my life with you, this is how you recipocrate.