This long awaited break is not a break for me at all. Not enjoyable and not stress free.
Instead, the 3 days i spent at home was scary and stressful. Not that i need to rush to complete my things. But the thought of my work are in the hall, the thought of so many JCRC stuff undone and unsolved worrys me. I can't stop thinking about all these problems that im very panicky.
Now that i came back to hall. I dont feel good either. I think i need to see some psychologist, really. Im really afraid history will repeat itself and i will go through another 4 years of the same thing.
Feel like a POS where no one cares about u. I feel like avoiding everyone i see. No one is there for you to confide in, no one is there when you feel so lonely........
Sometimes sitting in front of this $2000 screen, i feel like crying. Yet, i dont know why im crying. There is the feeling of emptyness, helplessness and i feel lost.
Lost my sense of direction, lost my judgement, lost the zeal and motivation to do even the simples thing. Lost.. i don know what approach to take...
sigh. I dont know why. I dont know how and i dont know what to do.
