I stayed home today instead of going back to hostel.

As usual, i fell asleep trying to read my maths text book. I dont know why but i just cant control myself from not falling asleep. Well, this happens to me in lectures and tutorials too, whether i had enough sleep the previous night or not. And i hate myself for doing that.. What is wrong with me?

Im very glad i dont feel panicky today at home. And i wonder if i really should move home. But I have to be involved in most of the hall acitivites or i have my responsibilities to fufill in JCRC which requires me to be in hall. The doctor feels that i should not involve myself in it , jingting thinks so too. I really hope i can quit JCRC. But HOW? Its too late. Its a promise to all the 600 residents...

Eversince I had problems recruiting ppl and that nobody seems to give me their support, I dont enjoy doing all these JCRC stuff. What is the point of you trying so hard when the president seems so bo chap about it? When you went to talk to the hall officer, hoping he approves of the change you proposed,but the president just sits there doing his own stuff, not backing you at all. When you proposed new things to improve the canteen and the vice president agrees to go with you to talk to the canteen vendor... but then one day the president just come and tell you that he has talked to him and the proposal i proposed is not feasible?

I really regret joining and everytime i start doing JCRC stuff, i will worry about not having enough time for my studies. But what to do?

Next tues and wed is orders taking for exam supper. 2 subcommers ask me if they can be excused from it coz they are having tests the next day. I understand that they need time to study so i told them to treat it as a break from studies. They didnt reply me. And for HM, he said that he has to sacrifice welfare subcom and go for his dance. Im very angry and disappointed. And his reason is that he has his dance partner to consider and the competition is in dec, he wants to do well for competition so that he dont disappoint zhiyuan, who has been giving him help. For goodness sake, then what about me? I have my difficulty too, how am i going to explain to the rest? him forgoing this to go for dance for his own benefit? and if everyone is going to be like them, how am i going to get things done?

It is not easy pleasing everyone. I am tired of begging, pursuading and coaxing them. I really hope i can shake my hands off all these JCRC stuff.